I am writing this heartfelt letter to you because I am concerned about the visceral attacks on members of the RMFL family which could turn acidic and cause deep hemmoraging in your bowel crevice.
According to a recent medical report by the "Ghost Face Killa" corporation: visceral attitude reflux causes 10, sometimes 20 and maybe even 69 fingers pointing right back at you when you write something that is sour and tart.
The side effects for V. A. R. include the following:
Persistent heartburn and acid regurgitation.
Pain in the chest, hoarseness in the morning, or trouble swallowing...especially corn dogs.
Small inflamed red bumps around the rectal cavity.
Constant nausea and hallucinations
Wet dreams with pale white flying characters
Also, you may feel like you have food stuck in your throat or like you are choking or your throat is tight. V.A.R. can also cause a dry cough and bad breath... (Could V.A.R. be a reason you don't have a girlfriend.... **ooops** I mean boyfriend?)
No one knows why people get V.A.R. A hiatal hernia may contribute. A hiatal hernia occurs when the upper part of the stomach is above the diaphragm, the muscle wall that separates the stomach from the chest. (You know, like when one constantly puffs his chest out and says to himself, "Worship me! I know EVERYTHING!") The diaphragm helps the LES keep acid from coming up into the esophagus. When a hiatal hernia is present, it is easier for the visceral acid to come up. In this way, a hiatal hernia can cause reflux.
Do you have a hiatal hernia that needs to be dealt with Follower?
Because no one really knows how Visceral Attitude Reflux became so prominent in Follower's RMFL writings, the following writing style changes are to be prescribed:
If you smoke the pride toke, stop.
Do not drink haterade in any form.
Lose weight by dropping heavy cynical remarks, if needed.
Eat small meals.... like Corn Dogs.
Wear loose-fitting clothes. (Gotta alleviate those small red bumps!)
Avoid lying down for 3 hours after making a humorous post.
Raise the head of your bed 6 to 8 inches by putting blocks of Utah Shock helmets under the bedposts -- just using extra witty drivel in RMFL posts will not help.
Good luck in your endeavor to relieve yourself of Visceral Attitude Reflux Follower. I hope this letter brings some sunshine and lollipops of joyful knowledge for your long and arduous journey of recovery!
Just remember... when all other medication fails, #EATACORNDOG!
The formatting of this article appears to be very similar if not identical to the same crap that Golden Wetman put out just a little bit ago. So I would have so say that eatacorndog is Goldie Locks!
What? Um, ok. Because someone uses a comma, spaces, paragraphs, etc...it's me? I guess I can take that as a compliment. But...you will NEVER see me use a #Hashtag. I am not on Twitter, never will be, and quite honestly think it's extremely annoying.
But I do love Corndogs. And I have no need to not attach my name. I stand by what I say.
Red and Gold - glad you enjoyed it. I laughed writing it so I hope RMFL folks laugh reading it. After all, V.A.R. doesn't just impact the Follower. There are tons of players, coaches, GM's and fans that have it.
I'm honored by this post. Someone took the time to put together a VERY well written post that was 100% dedicated to me. This signifies that my opinion means SOOO much to this person that they dedicated an unspecified allotment of their own personal time to put together the above post. Thank you for your love...I cannot say that I will reciprecate it...but I'm appreciative either way...
As far as "eatacorndog"...all I have to say is that the name smells of Schitt... :)
